


Please Don't Let Me Go

by coconut_juice_00



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Cheating, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 07:23:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2764667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coconut_juice_00/pseuds/coconut_juice_00
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun clings to the illusion of Kyungsoo loving him.<br/>Chanyeol suffers from unrequited love.<br/>Jongin is clueless.<br/>Kyungsoo is downright confused.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Please hurt me or break me. Just please...please, don't let me go." - Byun Baekhyun</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1/3

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd || typos and grammatical errors ahead

 

_Please_

 

Baekhyun gasps at the sensation, feeling his heart beating loudly against his chest as he feels Kyungsoo's lips hover on his neck, nosing his throat before kissing it. The elder male sighs in pleasure, letting himself go, marveling at the way Kyungsoo's fingers explore his body. He closes his eyes and bit his lower lip, wanting, **craving** for more of Kyungsoo's touches. He wants it. He needs it like he would **die** without it.

 

_Hurt me_

 

His breath hitches when he felt Kyungsoo enter him, slowly, gently like he’s a piece of fragile glass that would easily break. He gritted his teeth at the sensation, canting his hips up, mouth open for a soundless cry of pleasure. He hears Kyungsoo hush him, fingers tracing his lips before moving, lips pressed up against his ear as he whispers out small moans that only Baekhyun can hear.

 

_Or break me_

 

Baekhyun’s moans grew louder, wanton as Kyungsoo’s languid movements picked up pace, head flailing from side to side and neck angry red from all the bites and kisses the younger male left. He could hear the grunts coming out of Kyungsoo’s beautiful lips, his fingers digging extra hard on his hips that would make bruises form there the next morning. But Baekhyun doesn’t mind. He really doesn’t.

 

_Just please_

 

His climax hits him hard enough to make his head throb and his vein pulse. He sobs in pleasure, whining when he felt something shoot up inside him after a few more thrusts from Kyungsoo. He hears him whisper a strangled moan, right hand sliding up the side of Baekhyun’s head and curls his finger there, sighing afterwards. They catch their breath simultaneously, Kyungsoo pushing himself up to stare at him with those dark eyes full of want and need, lust and love, he can’t decipher. He can’t especially when Kyungsoo dips his head for their lips to meet in a slow and chaste kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Please don’t let me go…_

 

 

\----

 

 

“You’re delusional.” Chanyeol roars at him, face plastering a full-blown scowl. It was too early for Baekhyun to hear this. Too early. His eyes were droopy, hair a mess and face pale from lack of sleep. Chanyeol momentarily pauses and looks at him. “Stop, no. I can’t—“He shakes his head. “I can’t look at you like this. Not like this.”

 

Baekhyun remained silent, eyes following the tall male in front of him.

 

“Look at yourself.” He said, slamming his hands on the table startling Baekhyun. “Look at what you’re fucking doing to yourself!” He growls. “This isn’t—no—this isn’t right, Baek. Snap out of it!”

 

“Snap out of what?”

 

“You and Do Kyungsoo needs to stop.” Chanyeol watches as the dullness left Baekhyun’s eyes, replacing with fury. “Just stop—please stop clinging to the illusion that he loves you. Baek, this isn’t--”

  
“He does!”

  
“He doesn’t!” Chanyeol shouts, face getting red from anger. “Can’t you see the guy’s just using you?! He’s married for fuck’s sake!”

 

Baekhyun stood up from his bed, eyes flaring with anger upon mentioning Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, the person he loves, cherishes, the one he surely can’t live without. The one who’s responsible for making him smile, look forward for tomorrow and the future.

 

“You don’t fucking understand anything, Park Chanyeol.” Baekhyun scowls, eyes stinging and red. “You don’t understand anything at all!” Chanyeol could only stare at the man, eyes whirling in confusion. “He loves me. Kyungsoo loves me. Why would he come back to me if he doesn’t?”

 

“He’s just using—“

 

“No.” Baekhyun shakes his head. “No, he’s not.”

 

“Baekhyun—“   
  


“Get out.” Chanyeol furrows his brows in disbelief, his curled fists loosening upon hearing that and head hanging low dejectedly. “Get the fuck out of my apartment.”

 

 

\----

 

 

“You’re beautiful.”

 

Baekhyun sputters, eyes growing wide upon hearing the compliment, head snapping to the side to face the owner of the voice. “Uh-thank you, I guess?” The man must’ve realized what he just said, making him clear his throat awkwardly, face turning red in embarrassment. Baekhyun smiled.

 

“I mean, your voice.” The man said, hands up in defense. “I-uh…your voice is beautiful. Uh…” He nervously scratched the back of his neck and grins. “It’s amazing. Your performance, I mean.”

 

Baekhyun giggles, fully turning to face the man. “And again, thank you uh….”

 

“Kyungsoo.” The man grins. “My name’s Kyungsoo.”

 

 

\----

 

 

“I’m in love~” Baekhyun singsongs as he twirls around the room, arms up high.

 

Chanyeol furrowed his brows. “Isn’t it too early to say that, Baek?”

 

“Nope.” The elder cheekily grins, winking. “I’m definitely sure he’s the one, Yeollie! I mean, look at him! So dreamy~” He sighs. “Especially when you look at those big eyes. Those big dreamy eyes.” He giggles, biting his lower lip like a girl.

 

“I see.” Chanyeol says with an unreadable look on his face.

 

 

\----

 

 

“I meant it, you know, what I said back when we first met.”

 

Baekhyun hums in amusement, turning to the side to face Kyungsoo, who’s lying on the green grass beside him. “And that would be?”

 

“You’re beautiful.” Kyungsoo smiles, literally taking Baekhyun’s breath away. He felt his heart beat accelerate, making him feel jittery and fluttery inside. “Especially when you smile.” The younger reaches out and runs his fingers across his soft locks. “You’re so beautiful when you smile.”

 

“Is that supposed to flatter me, Do Kyungsoo?”

 

“No.” He chuckles, smiling after. “It’s supposed to make you fall for me.”

 

 

\----

 

 

“Oh god, I should get home.” His co-worker, Jongin, slurs, shaking his head in an attempt to get his head straight. “Husband’s gonna kill me if I got home late.” He smiles.

 

Chanyeol laughs at that, clapping his back twice. “You have to go then. You know how they are.” He winks at the tanned male, who keeps on laughing. “Nice to be tied down, huh?”

  
“Yeah.” Jongin sighs, smiling. “He’s amazing. Best thing that ever happened to me.” He pulls his wallet and flips it open, handing it to the tall male and points at their picture together. Chanyeol laughs as he received it, but the laughter slowly faded when he saw the picture of Jongin’s husband. “He looks cute, right?” Jongin takes his wallet back, completely oblivious at the way his co-worker’s face fell. “But don’t let that face fool you. He’s a devil in disguise, Chanyeol.” Jongin laughs. “So evil.”

 

“Yeah.” Chanyeol absentmindedly nodded. “So evil.”

 

 

\----

 

 

“I love you.” Baekhyun murmurs against Kyungsoo’s shoulder, arms wrapped around the younger male and legs tangled with each other. They were currently lying on his messy bed. Kyungsoo was tempted on cleaning his place first, but tiredness gets the best of him so he accepted Baekhyun’s cuddling invite.

 

“You do, huh?”

 

Baekhyun nods and buries his face on the crook of his neck. “You smell good.”

 

“So you love me because I smell good?” Kyungsoo chuckles, eyes clamped shut.

 

“One of the reasons, yes.” The elder sighs in content, pressing Kyungsoo impeccably close to him. “And still counting.”

 

Kyungsoo hums upon hearing that and opens one eye, grin so wide it almost reaches his ears. “Stop being adorable.”

 

“Can’t. I was born that way.” Baekhyun giggles, lips trailing to nip at Kyungsoo’s earlobe. “I’ll make sure to kill you with my adorableness, Do Kyungsoo.”

 

Kyungsoo then opens his eyes and chuckles softly, propping himself up with his right elbow before leaning forward to plant a quick kiss on Baekhyun’s lips, making the latter blush. “I love you, too.” He whispers.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

“Hey, welcome back.”

 

Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows upon hearing that familiar voice, sighing before turning around to face the man with a big smile. “Why are you still up, Jongin? You should be in bed.”

 

“I was waiting for you.” Jongin chuckles, arms reaching out as if he’s magnetizing the elder male to come into his arms. It seemed to work, considering Kyungsoo is now approaching him with that warm smile, immediately latching his arms around the younger male’s body. “Can’t sleep without my baby soo.”

 

Kyungsoo feels constricted, horrible and most of all guilty.

 

“Well, now that I’m here. Come on and let’s get you to bed.” Kyungsoo grins and pulls him towards the direction of their bedroom. “You must be tired. It’s already 3 in the morning.”

 

“No, I’m not.” Jongin said, but his face says otherwise. He was so tired, Kyungsoo can tell. “I was just waiting for you to come home, that’s all. Lately, you’ve been coming home late these days. Is work getting hectic, Soo?”

 

Kyungsoo momentarily feels lost, pictures of Baekhyun and his lovemaking that took place earlier flashing into his mind. He sighs, nodding too quickly to his liking, his grip on Jongin’s wrist becoming tighter than before. Jongin winced, but did not say anything, feeling too tired to protest.

 

“Yeah.” He said. “It is.”

 

 

 

\----

 

 

“What is this?” Baekhyun tearfully asks the younger male, body trembling, eyes sore from all the nights he spent crying before finally confronting him. When Kyungsoo didn’t say anything, Baekhyun closes the gold ring in his hand in hopes to crush it. “Well?”

 

“It’s what you think it is.” Kyungsoo whispers after a short while, mentally hitting his head with a pole because he fucking forgot to take the ring from the bathroom sink before letting Baekhyun use it. So stupid.

 

“Oh god.” Baekhyun bites his lower lip to keep his voice from shaking. “All this time. All this fucking time you were married.” He shakily runs his fingers through his hair. “And here I was thinking that maybe—“

 

“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo cut him off. “I’m sorry for being a selfish prick. I’m sorry for making a move on you. I’m sorry for letting this friendship grow into something more. I’m sorry for giving in to temptation because you’re so fucking beautiful and tempting and god, so, so amazing.” He takes a deep breathe, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I’m sorry for lov—“

 

“Don’t you dare say that!” Baekhyun scowls and Kyungsoo marvels upon how beautiful the elder male is despite the tears flowing down his cheeks. “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry for ever loving me because I don’t.” He lets out a shaky breath. “I really don’t.”

 

 

\----

 

 

 

“What’s he doing here?”

 

Baekhyun’s smile dropped, immediately getting off from Kyungsoo’s lap as he stares at his best friend like a deer caught in headlights. Kyungsoo, however, stood up from the bed, eyebrows furrowed in confusion before slowly getting wide after recognizing the said male.

 

“Chanyeol, please.” Baekhyun pushes the giant, voice pleading. “Just please go home.”

 

“No. What the fuck is he doing here?” Despite Baekhyun’s efforts in pushing him back, Chanyeol swiftly walks past the elder and grabs Kyungsoo by the collar, lifting him a bit as he stares at him with eyes wide in anger. “What the fuck is this cheater doing here?”

 

“Chanyeol, stop.”

 

“Does Jongin knows you’re here, huh?” He said through gritted teeth. “Tell me. Does your husband even know that you’re fucking **my** best friend behind his back, you fucker?” Kyungsoo remained motionless, letting Chanyeol do what he wants while patiently waiting for that punch to come any second now.

 

And he was right. Kyungsoo met the cold floor after getting hit on the face by Chanyeol’s hard fist. His eyes blurred a bit before clearing, hearing Baekhyun’s pleas and cries for Chanyeol to stop. He deserved it, he thought. He wants Baekhyun to stop preventing the guy from hitting him. He deserves more after all.

 

“Chanyeol, just go!” Baekhyun shouts. “Just fucking leave already!”

 

And Chanyeol did, leaving Baekhyun crying hard as he nurses Kyungsoo’s head.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

_“I’m okay. Everything is fine even if I know you’re kissing him deeply, pulling him in a tight embrace and spending almost all of your time with him. My heart hurts, yes, but just knowing that you love me is okay. Because I know by the end of the day, you’ll always come back to me even if I’m not your **first**_ **.** ”

 

- _Byun Baekhyun_

 

**[Part I finished]**

 


	2. 2/3

 

Kyungsoo knows it’s impossible to fall in love with two people at once. But after experiencing it himself, he began to hate himself, knowing that he’s hurting them in the process. There’s no one to blame but him. Him and his selfish reasons for holding on to the fact that everything will be okay.

 

Everything was an accident. He didn’t expected any of it.

 

“Hey, look at that.” Minseok grins at him before darting his stare towards the caramel-haired guy sitting on the stool up the stage, fingers gently strumming the guitar that’s on his hold. “Do you know that half of the population here in this bar only came here to hear that guy sing?”

 

“And are you one of those people, Minseok?” Jongdae said skeptically making the elder gulp hard.

 

“Of course not.” The younger male shot him a look. “Maybe. But I love your voice even more so--”

 

“Thank you, but that doesn’t mean I forgive you.”

 

Normally, Kyungsoo would laugh at the playful banter the couple in front of him does every time they go out for a drink. But tonight, it seems that his attention was solely caught by the person with a very enchanting voice.

 

He hadn’t meant for Jongin to slip out of his mind.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

Maybe it was the way that Baekhyun laughed got Chanyeol infatuated or maybe the way his warm smile would make him look forward to the days they spent together as best friends. His beautiful fingers that easily fit his hand or maybe his gorgeous eyes that always got you in a trance.

 

His chest would hurt whenever he would look at him. But no matter how hard he tries not to, he can’t seem to look away. It was like his eyes were practically glued to him, something that Chanyeol can’t prevent. And he hates it. He hates it because he knows that Baekhyun’s never gonna look at his way, well, not the way he looks at him.

 

“Why do I always put up with you?” Chanyeol finds himself asking a sleeping Baekhyun, who’s all curled up on his bed, arms wrapped around the white pillow that reeks of Kyungsoo’s scent. He frowns at that. “Why do I always keep on coming back even if you’re always pushing me away?”

 

He gulps hard, blinking the tears that he doesn’t know were forming. He reaches for Baekhyun, pausing midway before continuing, letting his fingers thread the soft locks.

 

“Why do I still love you even though you keep on hurting me?”

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

“You have really beautiful fingers.” Kyungsoo said as he holds their laced hands up high, admiring the smoothness and the paleness of those slender fingers on his own. He then pulls them and plants a soft kiss on the back. “So beautiful.”

 

Baekhyun blushed at the gesture, lips twitching into a shy smile. “If you keep on showering me with compliments, my head might explode. So if I were you, I’d stop it.”

 

“Just being honest.” He pulled Baekhyun in front of him and wrapped his arms around his waist, chin settled on the elder’s shoulder and hands still intertwined. “Why?” He whispers. “Don’t you like it?”

 

“No. I love it, actually. It’s just…” He pauses. “It’s just unfair.” Baekhyun mumbles, his grip on the younger’s hand beginning to tighten. Kyungsoo hums in question upon hearing that. “Because no matter how hard I try, even if I love you more than _he_ would, I still can’t have you.”

 

“Baekhyun.”

 

“I’m yours, just like _he_ is. But you’re not mine, unlike you’re _his_.” Baekhyun said, turning around to face Kyungsoo with a bitter smile. “You can never be mine.”

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

“Break it off, Kyungsoo.”

 

“Please, hyung.” Said male shakes his head in dismissal, walking away. Kyungsoo followed. “Minseok-hyung, please. I need more time.”

 

Minseok froze on his steps, turning around to face the younger male with a scowl. “Time? You fucking want time?” He curled his fingers into a fist, trying to stop himself from hurting Kyungsoo. “It’s been a year, Kyungsoo. You need to break things off with your lover.”

 

“I-I want to, but it’s hard. I can’t--”

 

“You have to.” Minseok sighs, anger slowly diminishing after seeing how vulnerable his dongsaeng looks right now. “Jongin…” He sighs. “He’s beginning to suspect things, Kyungsoo. If he finds out the truth, it’ll break him. You know I can’t keep on covering up for you. I don’t want to be dragged into this mess. The mess that **you** made.”

 

Kyungsoo lets out a heavy sigh and nods, fingers running through his hair frantically. “I’ll break things off with him, but not now. I don’t know when, but I will.” He grabs the elder’s wrist when Minseok made a move to walk away. “Just please, hyung. You’re the only one I can run to.”

 

Minseok sighs, yet slowly nodded. “Fine.” He takes his hand away from Kyungsoo and clicks his tongue in distaste. “Promise me you’ll end things with your lover.” He said. “But if you don’t want to end it, then please end things with Jongin. You’re only hurting the both of them.”

 

“I know.”

 

The elder claps Kyungsoo on the shoulder twice, hand gripping the younger’s shoulder tight. “Stop being a jerk, Kyungsoo. Sort it all out. I’ll--” Minseok sighs. “I’ll see what I can do.”

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

“Happy anniversary, Soo.” Jongin greeted with a big smile the moment he got home, feeling tired and exhausted from work. Upon hearing that, Kyungsoo chuckles softly, letting his satchel fall on the floor and immediately hugging the tanned male affectionately, a bouquet of flowers on the other.  “Hmm… so happy you got home so early.”

 

“I asked the team manager if I could because today’s a special day.” Kyungsoo grins and pulls away from the hug to grab his bag, unzipping it to pull out a little white box inside. He waved it at his husband’s line of sight. “Got you a present.”

 

“So sweet.” Jongin chuckles upon receiving the gift and the bouquet. “I feel like a girl.”

 

“Aren’t you?”

 

“Shut up, Do Kyungsoo.” Jongin then shifted his attention at the flowers. “Purple Hyacinths for our anniversary today, hmm?” He said upon recognizing the flower. “Last time it was Lilies.” He brings it close to his nose to give it a small whiff, lips twitching into a breathtaking smile that made Kyungsoo’s heart thump. “I love it.”

 

“Glad you do.” Kyungsoo smiles and lets himself be pulled into a chaste kiss, fingers playing with the back of Jongin’s hair.

 

Kyungsoo lets Jongin fuck him on the bed that night, so nice and slow, their lips attached and moving in sync like it was made like that. And that night, it was full of Jongin. Just Jongin and his smile. Jongin and his cute laugh. Jongin and his gorgeous eye smile. Jongin. Jongin. Jongin.

 

After that, he sits up on the bed and watches his husband sleep, his fingers carded on the younger male’s raven locks. He sighs before shifting his eyes at the single flower of purple hyacinth on the end table.

 

**(Purple Hyacinth flower meaning: I’m sorry, forgive me)**

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

Chanyeol zones out as he stares at Baekhyun, whose busy applying make-up on his face in hopes to please his _lover_ tonight. He watches as the elder make these weird faces, batting his eyes a few times after applying eyeliner. Normally, Chanyeol would laugh at the sight, but now he can’t bring himself to.

 

“How do I look?” Baekhyun asked, hands gesturing on his face. “Well?”

 

_You look gorgeous._

 

“You look like a drag queen straight from a horror movie, Baek.” Chanyeol snickers, making Baekhyun pout. “Just kidding.” Chanyeol stood up from his seat and approached the elder with a smile. “You look good.”

 

Upon hearing that, Baekhyun raised an eyebrow, eyes narrowed. “Just good?”

 

“Yeah.” He nods. “Good for me, beautiful in _his_ eyes.”

 

Baekhyun smiles at that, giving his best friend a light punch on the chest. “Thank you, giant. You’re the best.”

 

_Please…Please stop making me fall for you._

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

Jongin was driving home, passing by to some park as a shortcut because it’s traffic at the main road. He thought he saw Kyungsoo there making him pull the car in a complete stop. He furrowed his brows in confusion. Didn’t he just texted him that he’s at Minseok-hyung’s place?

 

He got out and narrowed his eyes, eyebrows raising when it really was Kyungsoo.

 

Jongin wanted to go there and ask his husband what he is doing there. But that was answered the moment he saw another man, whose arms were tightly secured on Kyungsoo’s waist. Jongin gulped hard. Who was that man?

 

Finding himself questioning his husband’s faithfulness, Jongin quickly pulled his phone out and decided to call him. The guy must be Kyungsoo’s friend. Yeah, that’s it. He’s just his friend, Jongin. No need to be paranoid.

 

He watches as Kyungsoo pulls his phone out, pressing his finger against the man’s lips, telling him to be quiet. The man kisses Kyungsoo’s finger as a response to the gesture. Jongin felt a pang on his chest upon witnessing that.

 

“Jongin, hey.”

 

“Hi, Soo!” Jongin cleared his throat and forced a smile, trying to make his tone bright like the way he normally would. “Where are you?”

 

He heard Kyungsoo chuckle. “Didn’t I tell you, baby?” He shifts his phone on his other hand as he lets the man hold the other, their now laced hands swaying. “I’m at Minseok-hyung’s. Why?”

 

Jongin forced another laugh, feeling his heart clench at the sudden revelation. Kyungsoo…Kyungsoo is lying to him. Kyungsoo is with another man. Kyungsoo is fucking cheating on him. “N-Nothing.” He lets out a shaky sigh. “Tell Minseok-hyung I said hi, okay?”

 

“Okay. I love you.” It would have been special if it wasn’t for the fact that Kyungsoo said those words with his eyes trained at the man in front of him. Jongin swallowed the lump in his throat and slowly nods, letting the tears fall in their own accord as he watches the man make a soundless giggle and lets Kyungsoo’s hand cup his cheek.

 

“I love you, too.”

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

“Oh, you’re still here.” Baekhyun turns his head to flash a smile at Chanyeol as he closes the door. “I thought you went home when I left.”

 

“Didn’t feel like it.” Said guy shrugs, his eyes staring, watching every move Baekhyun does. The way his slender fingers ran freely on his soft raven locks when he ruffles it and how adorable he looks when he smiles, his eyes turning into these cute little crescent like shapes and crinkles. He sighs. “How’s your date?”

 

“Good.” The elder simply answers.

 

“Good?”

 

“Good.” He firmly said. “Soo has to leave early because of urgent matters.”

 

Chanyeol raises his eyebrows and leans his head on his awaiting palm. “Urgent matters, you say?”

 

He didn’t mean it to sound bad, but Baekhyun took it like that anyway. Chanyeol watches as the smile on the elder’s face slowly melted into a frown, eyes narrowing a bit before forcing himself to relax. This night isn’t **that** bad, Baekhyun thought. Kyungsoo noticed his efforts in making himself pretty for him so it wasn’t **that** bad. It wasn’t **that** bad at all!

 

But _he_ just had to ruin everything.

 

“Look, I’m tired, Yeol.” Baekhyun waves his hand in dismissal and walks towards the direction the kitchen, probably to make himself a cup of coffee, Chanyeol deduces. “Can we not…” He sighs, stopping just before he enters the doorway. “Please?”

 

“Fine. I’ll be going home then.” Chanyeol stood up from the couch with a huff and approaches the elder with long steps. He looks down at him and smiles, ignoring the pain in his chest. “To be honest, you really look beautiful tonight, Baek.” After saying that, he cups Baekhyun’s face and pressed a long kiss on his forehead that might be considered intimate in anyone’s eyes. “Good night.”  He whispers.

 

“You too, Yeol.” Baekhyun giggles, the frown earlier completely vanished. “Sweet dreams.”

 

Too bad Baekhyun didn’t considered it as intimate.

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

“Hey, love.” Kyungsoo greeted upon entering their bedroom, only to chuckle when he saw Jongin already fast asleep, his back turned against him. The elder hums at the sight and slowly makes his way towards the bed, knee bumping a bit on Jongin’s thigh in the process.

 

Upon sensing that, Jongin forced himself to relax so that it won’t be obvious that he’s just pretending to sleep.

 

“Ahh, so pretty, my Jonginnie~” He coos, tucking a strand of hair behind Jongin’s ear. “You fell asleep waiting for me. Sorry.” He dips his head to plant a gentle kiss on Jongin’s cheek. “Sleep well.” And with that, Kyungsoo stood up and makes his way towards the bathroom after discarding his button up shirt and tie.

 

Upon hearing the soft thud of the door indicating that Kyungsoo is inside the bathroom, Jongin opens his eyes, not surprised to find himself crying again. How can he act like that after being with that…that man?! He lets out a shaky breath and sniffles, slightly shaking and body getting weak at the thought.

 

And as Kyungsoo settles beside him that night with an arm wrapped around his waist, Jongin puts his hand on his clothed chest and squeezes his eyes, a few tears trailing down his face.

 

_It hurts. It fucking hurts._

 

 

 

\----

 

 

 

“ _Look at me. Please, look at me just once. Look at me like the way you would to him. Look at me like I’m the only one who can make you happy. Look at me like I’m the only one you want. To be honest, it’s not just you. Because I am also clinging to the illusion that you would love me **someday**.”  _

 

_-Park Chanyeol_

 

**[Part II finished]**


	3. 3/3

 

Jongdae opens the door with both eyebrows raised in surprise. “Jongin?” His mouth twitches into a delightful smile. “Hey, what brings you-“He gasps when he finally noticed the younger’s state. “What happened to you?”

 

“Where’s Minseok-hyung?”

 

“He’s out to work--hey, Jongin!” Jongdae grabs Jongin’s shoulder to support him when he was about to collapse, eyes wide and lost. “Jongin? What’s wrong?”

 

“Hyung.” Jongin is crying now, his sticky face getting wet again from the tears. “Hyung, Kyungsoo is cheating on me and I don’t know what to do.”

 

 

 

**\----**

 

 

 

Kyungsoo furrowed his brows in disbelief, a wave of panic shooting up inside him as he stares with mouth slightly open at the person in front of him. “Baekhyun!” He immediately looked around, fearing that Jongin might—

 

Baekhyun kissed him full on the mouth, arms wrapped around his neck and body pressing close on his chest. Kyungsoo gasps upon the contact and kisses back in a few, only to cup his lover’s face and pull him away. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I miss you.” Baekhyun murmurs, lips hovering on the younger’s. “I just want to see you, Soo.”

 

“You know you can’t come here. Baekhyun, you’re not allowed to be here. Didn’t I tell you that?” Kyungsoo hissed. “What if Jongin comes home and see you—no—us together like this? We’ll be in deep trouble!”

 

The elder frowns. “Didn’t you miss me?” He accidentally glances at the medium sized wedding photo of the couple making the frown on his face deepen. Kyungsoo noticed this and sighs, turning the elder’s chin to face him.

 

“Of course, I do.” He pulls him in for a quick kiss. “I missed you so much.” And Baekhyun smiles upon hearing that, cheeks turning pink and heart thumping so fast. “But you can’t be here. Jongin might come home any minute now.”

 

“I see.” The smile on his face melting. “But you’ll come see me tonight, right?”

 

“Of course.” Kyungsoo smiles. “It’s been, what? 2 weeks since I last saw you. I need my dose of Baekkie after all.” He winks and Baekhyun laughs at that before squishing Kyungsoo’s face with his hands and pulls him for a deep kiss.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

“I don’t know what to do, hyung. I’m at loss.” Jongin sniffles, knees pressed up on his chest and back leaning on the sofa. “It’s happening to me.” He buries his nose in his arms. “What happened to you is happening to me. But I’m not…I’m not strong enough unlike you.”

 

Jongdae freezes, memories of what happened years back came rushing in.

 

They were still in college then. Jongin was still trying to win Kyungsoo’s heart and Minseok and he were already dating. They were so in love; their minds filled with hopes and dreams of what will happen in the future. They were so perfect and so, so, so cheesy like nothing can tear them apart. Jongdae really loves Minseok and vice versa. Well, that was what Jongdae thought.

 

Minseok’s face was flushed and sweaty, mouth open for a soundless cry of pleasure and head leaning against the wall. His hands were on a person’s head, guiding him as he sucks him off, head bobbing vigorously with hollowed cheeks. It was only then when Minseok pushed the person away, finally noticing Jongdae’s presence, that he recognized Lu Han, whose mouth is slicked and wet, eyes hazy with lust and desire before widening in panic and fear.

 

It was revealed that Minseok has been cheating on him with Lu Han for almost 2 years.

 

But after 6 months of fighting, crying, comforting and talking things out, Minseok chose Jongdae in the end; appearing on his doorstep back at his hometown on his knees, begging for Jongdae to forgive him and to come back. He met Lu Han again a year after graduation and asked him for his forgiveness.

 

_“I love him, but he just loves you more than he loves me.”_ Is what he said.

 

Minseok’s unfaithfulness is one of the many reasons why they still aren’t married. And even if he knows that Lu Han won’t bother them anymore, (he’s already married to some guy named Oh Sehun back at China) he’s still afraid. Right now, after finding out that Minseok is helping Kyungsoo hide his secret affair with his _lover_ , he’s starting to doubt him again.

 

But…

 

“I’m not that strong, Jongin.” Jongdae said, his hands encircling his coffee mug. “In fact, I was like you.” He sighs. “I was at loss of what to do after witnessing that.” He meets Jongin’s puffy eyes that are staring at him. “The only thing that got me going is my love for him.”

 

Jongin furrowed his brows.

 

“I hate him for doing that and also myself for lacking something that he found at another person. I was really ready to leave him—to never look back and push him away even if he’s begging on his knees, but…” He sighs and flashes a warm smile. “I began to think about the times he did right—the 6 years that made me love him even more and I thought, why would I leave him for one thing he did wrong if he already did a thousand right things to me?”

 

“Aren’t you afraid of Minseok-hyung doing it again?”

 

Jongdae chuckles softly and places his mug on the end table beside them as if he’s already expecting the younger to ask that. “He’s worth the risk. And I…I trust him.” He shakes his head. “It’s stupid, I know. But I just… I really love Minseok.” He reaches out to grab Jongin’s hand. “If you think that—that Kyungsoo is worth the risk, then fight for him. Don’t let _him_ take your husband away from you.” He squeezes it. “He’s not—Kyungsoo’s not a bad person, you know. He just made the wrong decisions just like Minseok.”

 

Jongin slowly nods. “I know.” He whispers. And he cries again, silently vowing that this will be the last time he’ll cry over this.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

“See?” Kyungsoo grins. “I told you, you can come again.”

 

Baekhyun lazily smacks Kyungsoo’s chest, panting breathlessly and body so weak and tired from the intercourse. “S-Shut up.” He whines when Kyungsoo dips his head to plant a soft kiss on his oversensitive member. “K-Kyungsoo, stop…I can’t…b-but…” He squirms, hot breath escaping his swollen lips. “…you’re—you’re still hard.” He gasps when Kyungsoo pushes into him ever so slowly, the cock so thick and wet that it produces a weird wet noise. Baekhyun blushes.

 

“Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo exhales, hand pushing the elder’s right thigh up as he thrusts in a languid pace. He closes his eyes, eyebrows furrowed in concentration and mouth slightly open in pleasure. “Oh god, Baekhyun.”

 

Baekhyun giggles at the sight, breath hitching when the younger slowly quicken his pace. He moans. “S-Soo…” He grabs his hips to pull him to a stop. Kyungsoo, although confused, watches as Baekhyun sit up and strokes his hard cock twice before taking the latex off.

 

“B-Baek, what are you doing?”

 

“Come on.” He breathes in, pulling Kyungsoo’s waist in an attempt to put it back in but it ended up poking his right ass cheek. “Want to feel you… inside me…inside me, please.” Upon hearing that, Kyungsoo laughs breathlessly, pushing the elder on the bed and kisses him as he slides inside in one swift movement. Baekhyun moans on Kyungsoo’s mouth at the feeling. So hot and so full of Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo. _Kyungsoo_. He wraps his arms around the younger male as the latter continues his rapid movements.

 

Tonight, Kyungsoo is his. Just for tonight.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

_Something came up so I can’t come. Let’s move movie night tomorrow, yeah?_

 

Chanyeol throws his phone on the wall.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

 

Baekhyun blinks twice, feeling icky and itchy once he made a move on the bed. His stomach is filled with dry cum and he made a face upon seeing that. He frowns when he saw himself bare. Did Kyungsoo not cover him before leaving? Uggh. But then, he kicks around in his sleep so there’s a big possibility that he might have kicked the bedding off his body.

 

He turns his head to the side with a deep frown, staring at the empty side of the bed.

 

“Fuck.” He mumbles before fully turning, reaching over to grab the pillow that Kyungsoo used and pressed it close to his chest, immediately burying his nose on the soft object. Smells like Kyungsoo. So good.

 

“Good morning, gorgeous.”

 

Baekhyun squeaks in surprise and snaps his head behind him only to gasps in surprise when he saw Kyungsoo sitting on his side of the bed. “Wait…What are you…?” He lets go of the pillow and sits up. “Shouldn’t you be at your place by now?”

 

“I already told Jongin I’m leaving on a business trip yesterday before coming here at your place.” He chuckles. “And besides,” He leans forward to plant a long kiss on the elder’s cheek making said male blush. “I wouldn’t want to miss your birthday.”

 

Oh, right. It’s this Saturday, right?

 

“So…” Kyungsoo opens his arms. “I’m yours for the week. Where do you want to go?” He chuckles when Baekhyun pounces on him making him fall back on the bed, the elder hovering on top of him. It was a bit awkward since he’s naked as fuck while the younger was wearing his usual dress shirt and slacks but Baekhyun couldn’t care any less. “Paris, Greece, Hawaii or…? Tell me. We’ll go there.”

 

“Anywhere.” Baekhyun grins, obviously finding it hard to contain his happiness. “Anywhere as long as I’m with you.”

 

“Okay.” Kyungsoo smiles and laughs, finally noticing his lover’s naked state.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

_I’m out of the country with Kyungsoo. Sorry, Yeol. How about we reschedule that movie? I’ll order pizza to make it up to you._

 

This time, Chanyeol didn’t bother on reading his message and just quietly sips his can of beer.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

They went to Florence, Italy.

 

Baekhyun happily loops his arms around Kyungsoo, grinning and giggling at everything he sees that fascinates him. They would hold hands in public, the fear of getting caught now gone and take romantic photos together, even filming themselves as they went on that tour at some art gallery. And Kyungsoo would chuckle every time Baekhyun gets flustered whenever he kisses his cheek.

 

Baekhyun snaps a photo of Kyungsoo and giggles afterwards. “So handsome, my Kyungie~” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow in response and smiles a second later before pulling the elder in a chaste kiss.

 

They stayed at the Grand Hotel. Baekhyun can’t stop making _ooh_ s and _aahs_ , especially when they finally entered their room. The room was—no—the hotel was oozing with Florentine culture, floors marbled, decorated with frescoes and the atmosphere is like they’re royalties. Kyungsoo too was at awe, but he was staring at Baekhyun mostly, grinning at how cute the elder is as he happily tested the softness of the bed.

 

But of course even if he finds it enjoying, touring the place while showing public displays of affection with Kyungsoo, nothing beats the nights they spent in their hotel room, wrapped up in blankets with their bodies pressing too close for warmth. Some nights they would cuddle. Sometimes they would sleep with bodies back against each other (that usually happens when Kyungsoo comes back inside after talking with Jongin on the phone) but would wake up with Baekhyun’s head on Kyungsoo’s chest. Sometimes Baekhyun would spoon Kyungsoo, nose buried on the younger male’s hair. But most nights, Baekhyun finds himself face first on the pillow or thighs up on the younger’s shoulders or even cheeks pressing against the wall while Kyungsoo is balls deep inside of him.

 

“Happy birthday.” Kyungsoo whispers on his ear just before he drifted to sleep, arms wrapped securely around Baekhyun waist, his now soft cock pressing on his sore ass. And Baekhyun would hum in satisfaction as a response, letting himself melt in his boyfriend’s arms.

 

And in that moment, Baekhyun wished for time to stop.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

 

Kyungsoo’s tired face lit up with a bright smile upon seeing his husband sitting comfortably on the couch, their wedding album spread out on his lap. “Jongin.” Said guy looks up at him. “Hey.” Kyungsoo chuckles, dropping his bag and makes his way towards him. “I’m home.”

 

Jongin just smiles and looks back down again at their photos taken during the reception party.

 

Kyungsoo hums in amusement and takes a seat in front of him. “Reminiscing?”

 

“Yeah.” Jongin croaks, voice hoarse from all the cries he bursts out during his stay at Jongdae’s house. He knows that Kyungsoo doesn’t have a business trip. He knows he’s with him. Where and what they were doing, Jongin doesn’t want to know. Because even just the mere thought of them being together made his heart ache.

 

At first he wanted to strangle his husband and his lover. He wanted to choke them to death for making a fool out of him and do things behind his back. He spent hours and hours talking to Jongdae, letting his anger and frustration out before finally coming to a conclusion of not wanting a big scene and fuss all over this… this affair. He still wants to strangle the both of them, though.

 

“Kyungsoo…” Jongin weakly smiles. “Tell me…Is there—is there anything wrong with me?” His eyes hurt. “Is there something wrong with us? Tell me. Did I do something that made you not want me anymore?”

 

Kyungsoo blinks twice in confusion. “Of course not. Jongin, what are you talking about? Of course, there’s nothing wrong with--”

 

“Then who is he, Kyungsoo?” Jongin asks, his grip on the album beginning to tighten.

 

The smile fell on Kyungsoo’s face. “Who?”

 

“Your _lover_.” Kyungsoo remained silent. He wants to play dumb but he doesn’t; the amount of guilt stacking him up like bricks until he can’t breathe anymore. “I know you—you were with him. I-I saw you two. At the park a few weeks ago.” Jongin inhales deeply and lets out a shaky sigh. “It—it hurts…a lot. Why did you—why are you hurting me? Tell me. Did I—did I do something wrong to make you do this?”

 

After a few minutes of silence, Kyungsoo opens his mouth to speak. “You did nothing wrong. It’s all me. I’m sorry.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, hands together. The constricting pain he’s feeling is now doubled over; the pain enough to make him cry but he doesn’t. He willed himself not to. “Don’t blame _him_ , either. It’s not _his_ fault. I was the one—it was me who made a move first. I wasn’t thinking.”

 

Jongin doesn’t—refuses to look at him. “Since when?”

 

“A year and a half ago.” Kyungsoo said, eyes pleading, pleading for Jongin to look at him. “I met him at a bar. He’s a singer there and I…” He sighs and covers his face with his hands, sliding it down. “Jongin, I’m so sorry.” He doesn’t want to, but he did anyway. “Jongin, please.”

 

He’s crying, Jongin knows. The sounds of Kyungsoo sniffling and whispered sobs the only thing he hears. “Jongin, I wasn’t—I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry. H-He…Baekhyun, he’s…”

 

“So that’s his name.” Jongin slowly nods with a bitter smile.

 

“It all happened so fast and I…I love him.” Kyungsoo cries. “But I—I don’t want to lose you.”

 

“That’s being selfish, Kyungsoo. You know you can’t have us both.” Jongin closes the album softly and places it beside him before standing up. “I’m leaving you...” Kyungsoo’s eyes went wide as more tears come out. “…to give you time to think. It’s either _Baekhyun_.” The name sounds bitter on Jongin’s tongue. It made him frown. “Or me.” He finally looks at the elder. “If you made up your mind, you know where to find me. For now.” He fingers the wedding ring on his hand and pulls it off. “Goodbye.” Jongin whispers, dropping the ring on the ground in front of Kyungsoo.  

 

The moment Jongin left the house, Kyungsoo cried harder.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

Baekhyun welcomes Kyungsoo with a tight hug. But when the younger didn’t reciprocate, he slightly pulls away to look at his boyfriend’s face. “Kyungsoo?” He pulls him inside and closes the door. “What’s wrong? Why are you—“He drops Kyungsoo’s hand. “Did he…Did he find out?”

 

Kyungsoo looks up to him, eyes hollow and lifeless. “He left me.” He whispers.

 

Baekhyun knows he should be happy. In fact, he really is happy upon hearing that. I mean, there’s nothing that pulls Kyungsoo away from him now, right? But why? Why is he like this? Why is Kyungsoo depressed? He should be happy! They should be celebrating. Why? Is it because of the guilt?

 

“You could stay here if you want.” Baekhyun says, tightening his hold on Kyungsoo’s wrists.

 

“That would be unfair, wouldn’t it?” Kyungsoo bitterly smiles. “He told me to choose and by staying here, that would be unfair, right?”

 

Baekhyun looks away. “Then what are you doing here in the first place?” He frowns when Kyungsoo didn’t respond. “Didn’t you say you love me? Didn’t you say you wanted me more than anyone else? Yah, don’t fool around, Do Kyungsoo!”

 

“I love you, but I—Jongin.” Kyungsoo shakes his head and pulls his hand from Baekhyun’s grasp.

 

“Then…” Baekhyun pauses. “Did you come here to end things between us?” He asks, voice almost tone down into a whisper. He took a step back, eyes brimming with tears. “Are you gonna end things, Kyungsoo?”

 

“Honestly, yes.” He answers. “But now, I don’t know. I’m too attached and I can’t…I can’t let you go. One part of me says I have to, but the selfish part of me doesn’t want to. And I’m…” He sighs. “I’m confused. I don’t know what’s right anymore. So I figured that I need to take a break—to think things through.”

 

In a surge of desperation, Baekhyun cups Kyungsoo’s face and presses a soft kiss on his lips. “I trust you.” He whispers. “And whatever you decide, I’ll respect it. Even if it hurts, it’s okay.” And for the first time since Jongin left, Kyungsoo smiles, a sight that made Baekhyun mirror the expression even if he’s slowly dying inside.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

Chanyeol stares at the screen blankly. He tries to ignore the elder’s presence beside him, but the fact that his heart is beating extra fast now makes it hard to. Especially when he’s super close to him, his head leaning on his shoulder while The Vow is quietly playing on the screen.

 

Baekhyun cried himself to sleep, yet again.

 

It’s always like this. But now that Kyungsoo’s husband found out about their relationship, it only got worse. And it hurts seeing him like this, crying over a man that only breaks his heart. Their love was doomed from the start, but they still keep on trying. Chanyeol sighs. Well, _their_ love isn’t the only one that’s doomed from the start.

 

“I love you.” He whispers with a bitter smile plastered on his face. “I know you love him, yet I still love you.” He shakes his head. “So much that it hurts.”

 

 

**\----**

 

 

Baekhyun makes a run for it towards the bathroom after assuring that Chanyeol’s fast asleep, his eyes wide in shock. Chanyeol loves him. All this time. He loves him. It was so obvious yet—but why? He runs his finger on his hair and curls his fingers there as he stares at his bloodshot eyes on the mirror.

 

He inhales and lets out a shaky sigh. “Fuck.”

 

 

**[END]**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END? NOT REALLY
> 
> I was really confused about what to write at the ending. So, yeah this isn’t the real ending (TROLLED!) I’m gonna post a BAEKSOO ending and a CHANBAEK/KAISOO ending because I’m afraid you, readers, won’t be satisfied (and honestly, me either) if I just picked one.
> 
> So yeah, wait for it :)


	4. Ending no. 1

**a/n: if Kyungsoo picked Baekhyun…**

 

Baekhyun met Kyungsoo again 2 months prior their last meeting.

 

The elder stares dumbfounded at the sight of Kyungsoo arranging his clothes in his closet, lining up his office shirts and slacks next to his set of clothes. Two empty bags were thrown carelessly to the side and a bunch of books were stacked up at the edge of the bed. Baekhyun had dreamed of this scenario before. A scenario where Kyungsoo is—

 

“Hey, you.” Kyungsoo cranes his head to flash a smile at him and continues to fold his faded gray shirt. “What do you want for lunch? I’ll cook for you.”

 

“What are you…?” Baekhyun gulps hard, unable to fight the growing smile on his face. “I-uh…” He clears his throat and shakily breathes out, covering his mouth with his hands when instead of a laugh, a sob came out of his mouth. “Oh my god.” And without warning, he lunges forward to wrap his arms around the younger male, the latter taking a few steps back at the sudden impact. “You, stupid.” He cries, burying his face on the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck. “Stupid, stupid, stupid Kyungsoo.”

 

Kyungsoo chuckles, dropping the shirt to reciprocate the hug. “Sorry.” He murmurs. “Sorry I took so long. Sorry I made you wait.” He pulls Baekhyun away to squish his tear-stricken face. “I wanted to make things right before coming back to you. I’m so sorry.”

 

Baekhyun shakes his head and smiles, the brightest he had. “It’s okay.” He sniffles. “It’s fine. You’re here. I’m more than all right.” He pauses for a moment to take the younger’s hands away from his face. “Wait…” He furrowed his brows. “Does that mean…?”

 

“It’s gonna be finalized this week.” Kyungsoo smiles. “The divorce.”

 

Upon hearing that, Baekhyun pulls the younger by the nape and kisses him deeply, with a hint of longing and need. He can feel Kyungsoo laugh against his lips, but Baekhyun doesn’t seem to mind and continues to nibble the younger’s bottom lip before pushing him on the bed, straddling him.

 

Kyungsoo is his. _Finally_ , Kyungsoo is his.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

“Mine.” Baekhyun grins up at him, teeth full in view and eyes like crescents. He squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand in his and plays with his finger. “This is also mine.” He says that somehow reminded him of what a spoiled child would say. “And also this.” He traces on the back of the younger’s hand. “Mine~”

 

“Weird.” Kyungsoo says pulling his hand away from the elder’s grasp to run his fingers on his beautiful caramel-colored hair. “You should definitely dye your hair back to its original color.”

 

“But I like my hair like this.” He pouts, shaking his head on Kyungsoo’s lap making it wobble a bit. That made Kyungsoo sigh. “I look more attractive with this color! Why? Don’t you think so? You said that I look good in this, right? Right?! “

 

“Fine, fine.” He rolls his eyes, yet he’s smiling. “It was just a suggestion.” He playfully pats his boyfriend’s cheek. “I was just wondering what you looked like with your hair dyed black.”

 

Baekhyun pauses for a minute to ponder, staring at the younger’s eyes with brows furrowed before frowning deeply a few moments later. “I’d like to keep my hair color as it is.”

 

“Okay, okay.” Kyungsoo nods in defeat before a wave of comfortable silence envelops them.

 

The following day, Kyungsoo’s eyebrows raised in shock when he saw Baekhyun skipping towards him with hair dyed black, his arms open for the younger male to come to him. Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh at that.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

_“How are you?”_

 

“I’m fine. Actually, I’m more than fine. Japan is truly an amazing place.”

 

 

**\----**

 

 

“I was thinking of moving to the suburbs.”

 

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow upon hearing that and looks back to his boyfriend in the kitchen cooking lunch. “Why would you want to move there? Isn’t here at the city okay for you?”

 

“It’s okay.” Kyungsoo shrugs. “But,” He pauses to wash his hands. “I don’t know. I was thinking of starting a new life there. Plus, it’s quiet and relaxing. I could use that kind of environment.” He approaches the elder and places his hand on his shoulder. “So?”

 

Baekhyun hums, narrowing his eyes at the younger. “You already bought a house, did you?” Kyungsoo grins in response making Baekhyun sigh. “I don’t really have any choice, do I?” Kyungsoo made a noise of triumph. “Fine, fine.” He turns around to face the younger, knees on the couch and arms wrapped around the latter’s neck. “I’m gonna miss this place, though. We already made a lot of good memories here.”

 

“Well,” Kyungsoo lets their foreheads connect, hands trailing down his sides until they settle on his hips. “We can make better memories there than here. We can start by testing how comfy the bed is.”

 

Baekhyun laughs, playfully punches Kyungsoo’s chest and kisses him all in that order.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

“I’m having the time of my life. The people at work are nice and the pay is good.”

 

_“That’s nice. Now let’s get back to the food bit. I wanna hear more about that ramen you’re always talking about.”_

 

 

**\----**

 

 

“Hey there, stranger.”

 

Kyungsoo looks up and manages a small smile. “Jongin.”

 

Said male chuckles softly and sits beside him in the park bench, the space a bit far compared to the times when they were still together. He remembers Jongin invading his personal space, always leaning over or resting his head on his lap. Jongin is a big fan of cuddling so he always ends up being squished. Kyungsoo smiles sadly at that.

 

“How’s Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo sputters upon hearing that, thrown completely off-guard at the sudden question from his ex-husband. It was unexpected.

 

“He’s fine.” He shrugs, looking ahead. “He’s busy with all the packing and stuffs.”

 

“I see.” Jongin hums and gently rocks himself to and fro like a kid. “Well, good luck with that.”

 

“His patience isn’t that good but I’m sure he’ll manage.” Kyungsoo smiles at Jongin before looking away, the smile slowly melting on his face. It seems that the awkwardness and tension from divorce is still there. It’s still a month after they separated after all. “How about you?”

 

Jongin stops moving. “Hmm…I’d be lying if I said I’m okay.” He continues his movements. “But it’s safe to say I’m getting there. Not completely but—yeah, it’s hard, but I’ll be fine. In fact, there’s this person—a co-worker of mine asked me out on a date. She’s cute, that I can confirm.”

 

Kyungsoo looks at him. “She?”

 

“Yeah, _she_.” Jongin chuckles. “She’s new so she has no clue about the whole divorce thing but when she found out, her efforts went double. And honestly, I find it cute.” He looks down and grins. “Turns out I still fancy girls after all.” The grin faded into a firm one. “But I—I don’t…not now, I think. It’s too soon. I mean, I’m still not over you, but… but maybe,” He pauses. “I’ll give it chance…with her. But not now. I’ll tell her when I’m ready, if she’s still interested then.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be.” Jongin waves in dismissal, a weak smile plastered on his face. “I’m thankful, actually. For all the things that you did to make me happy. It was a nice adventure, hyung. Thank you for the memories.” For the first time since he came, Jongin looks at Kyungsoo in the eye and holds his fist out. “I wish you and Baekhyun nothing but the best.”

 

“You’re making me cry, stupid.” Kyungsoo grumbles but bumps his fist with Jongin’s anyway.

 

And before Jongin leaves, he said something to Kyungsoo, a quote from a movie that he remembers they watched on their first date. It brings a bunch of sweet and bitter memories which they know they’ll both cherish for the rest of their lives. And Jongin smiles, waving goodbye to his ex-husband along with the feelings he have for him.

 

_“People change. Feelings change. It doesn’t mean that the love once shared wasn’t true or real. It simply means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.”_

 

 

**\----**

 

 

Baekhyun hums in confusion when he saw Kyungsoo staring at him for the past 2 hours during their movie marathon. He felt embarrassed, ears tinge pink as he shifted uncomfortably on his seat. “S-Soo?”

 

Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows. “Hmm?”

 

“Stop staring.” He huffs and places his leg down, accidentally kicking the empty moving box on the floor. They planned on cleaning up the mess but Baekhyun gawks at the sight of Kyungsoo’s Pirates of the Caribbean collection so they ended up watching it. “I can’t focus on the movie with you staring like a fool.”

 

Kyungsoo hums in amusement, leaning his head on his knuckles. “But you look so beautiful.”

 

Baekhyun made a noise of discomfort but he’s blushing. “Stop.”

 

“So pretty, my Baekhyunnie.” Kyungsoo coos, leaning forward to bury his face on the elder’s raven hair. “So, so, so pretty.” Flustered, Baekhyun backs his head away with wide eyes.

 

“Y-Yah, Do Kyungsoo! What’s with you?”

 

“Nothing.” Kyungsoo replied as he slides his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and pulls him close. He hums in satisfaction. “I saw Jongin earlier and we talked.”

 

Baekhyun furrows his brows. “Then it’s not nothing.” He shifts a bit before allowing himself to melt in Kyungsoo’s arms. “So what did you two talked about?”

 

“Things.” Baekhyun opens his mouth to ask him to elaborate but Kyungsoo cuts him. “I realized that you’re the biggest mistake I’d ever done in my whole life.” He grins. “And choosing you is the best decision I’d ever made.” He squeezes the flustered elder, nosing his reddened cheek. “I love you, Byun Baekhyun.”

 

Baekhyun turns his head to the side to meet the younger’s lips for a quick kiss. “Love you, too.” He giggles. “Now can we please watch the movie?” And Kyungsoo happily nods in response.

 

Though 20 minutes later, Baekhyun finds himself riding a moaning Kyungsoo on the sofa as Captain Jack Sparrow steers the ship through the storm.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

“I’m staring at Tokyo tower right now and god, it’s so breathtaking even at a distance! I really wish you’re here with me to see this.”

 

_“I’m sorry.”_

 

“For what?”

 

_“For not loving you back. For hurting you. For being blind and fucking oblivious to all the—“_

 

“Don’t be. You can’t force yourself to love someone. It’s not in your control. I’m just glad that you’re finally with him after all the things you went through. There’s no reason to cry yourself to sleep anymore, yeah?”

 

_“I-I’m sorry. I just…I love him. I really do. But you—you’re like a brother to me.”_

 

“I know.”

 

A long pause.

 

_“I miss you, Chanyeol. Come back soon, okay?”_

 

“Soon.” Chanyeol stares at the glowing tower with a sad smile on his face. “I miss you too, Baek.”

 

 

**\----**

 

 

Baekhyun grins lazily after shifting to the side to see Kyungsoo already awake from their afternoon nap. “Hey.” He whispers, leaning close until their noses collide. And Kyungsoo would reply with a chuckle before yawning. It feels like a dream for Baekhyun, having this scenario played over and over back then so he finds it hard to believe that everything that’s happening right now is real.

 

“Hey, Kyungsoo.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

Baekhyun smiles. “Love me forever and ever, okay?” Kyungsoo grins upon hearing that.

 

“Only if you’ll do the same.”

 

And Baekhyun crushed the younger into a tight hug making the latter burst out laughing. “Of course, silly. I’m never gonna let you go.”

 

 

**End**

 


	5. Ending no. 2

**a/n: if Kyungsoo chooses Jongin…**

 

Jongin has been staying at Jongdae’s place the past 2 months since he left the house. It hurts, leaving his husband there but he knows it’s for the best. He needs time to think after all. Jongin used the time to pick up the pieces because he’s sure as hell that the elder would pick his _lover_ in the end. Well, that’s what all happens in the dramas he watches which is why the sight in front of him clearly baffles him.

 

He slightly opened the door, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Kyungsoo?”

 

“Hey.” The elder looks at him with a small smile. “Can we—can we talk?” Jongin didn’t budge. “Please?”

 

Jongin slowly nods and sighs. “Fine.” He reaches for his coat that’s hanging on the rack. “Lead the way.”

 

 

**\----**

 

 

Baekhyun pressed his knees close to his chest as tears stream endlessly down his face. He’s slightly shaking, fingers digging deep on his legs and eyes fixated at the TV where a video of Kyungsoo and him goofing around during their trip to Florence is silently playing.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

“Seriously?” Jongin got out from the car and looks at the elder male. “What the hell are we doing here?” Kyungsoo shrugs as a response. He scoffs before looking around his surroundings in distaste.

 

What the hell are they doing here at the university’s park?

 

Jongin takes a few steps forward, memories of meeting Kyungsoo for the first time flashing in his mind. He remembers gawking at the elder, who was sitting on the bench cross-legged while reading some history textbook that he probably borrowed from the library. It was love at first sight for Jongin. Kyungsoo, however, didn’t acknowledge his existence back then. It took a few months of Jongin chasing, stalking and a bunch of aegyo to finally make the elder agree to go on a date with him. And the rest was history.

 

It would have been romantic, really, if you minus the fact that Kyungsoo has been cheating on him with this _Baekhyun_ guy for a year and a half. Just the thought made Jongin grit his teeth.

 

“Why bring me here?”

 

Kyungsoo simply hums and began to walk. Jongin, although confused, follows him. It wasn’t a surprise that the elder would go towards his usual spot; that wooden bench where Jongin first saw Kyungsoo. Jongin watches as his husband flashes him a warm smile, that same smile that never failed to make his knees turn jelly, before staring back at the wooden bench.

 

Jongin rolls his eyes. “So are we just gonna stare at this thing or what?”

 

“3 seconds.”

 

“Pardon?”

 

Kyungsoo turns his head to look at Jongin. “It took me 3 seconds to fall in love with you.” He chuckles lowly, looking down. “The moment I stare in your eyes when you asked me out on a date with no hint of playfulness lacing your voice, I fell then and there.” He chuckles, waving his hand in embarrassment. “It’s weird, I know but it just happened.”

 

Jongin furrows his brows.

 

“Thinking about what I did, I…” He pauses for a bit. “I feel confused with my feelings so I decided to retrace the steps and go back from the start. Go back and find out what made me do this stupid thing that hurt you a lot.”

 

“Did you ever found out along the way?”

 

Kyungsoo scoffs a laugh. “No.” He sighs. “Because it’s not you. It’s not because of what you did. It’s me.” When Jongin didn’t respond, he took that cue to continue. “You didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, you never failed to take part of your role as my husband. It’s me. It’s all me.” He curled his fingers into a fist. “It was me who gave in to temptation. It was me who made you look like a fool. It was me who, not only you, but hurt Baekhyun too. It was me who started everything. And for that, I’m sorry.”

 

Jongin looked down on the ground and bitterly smiles. So… this is it.

 

“Where’s the papers?” He asked. When Kyungsoo didn’t respond, he shifted his gaze on the elder male. “What? Are you gonna send it to me then?” He sighs. “I should have known. You’re not that really good with confrontations, anyway.”

 

Kyungsoo furrows his brows. “Jongin, what are you talking about?” He shakes his head in dismissal. “Wait… so you thought I called you here because of…” He trails before chuckling softly. “No, no. You got it all wrong.”

 

Jongin raises an eyebrow skeptically, hope sprouting in his chest. Wait…no, stop. Don’t. Stop it, Kim Jongin. Get a hold of yourself. He changed. He’s not the same Kyungsoo you know and love. He cheated on you, Kim Jongin. He fucking cheated on you with that fucking—

 

“I came here to give you back this.” He watches as Kyungsoo pulls a red velvet box out of his coat pocket. And just like Jongin had expected, inside was his wedding ring—the one that he remembers taking off before leaving their house. Jongin gulps hard at the sight.

 

“Y-You can’t just…” He wrings his hand, eyes looking back and forth to Kyungsoo and the ring. “After everything you put me through, I—“

 

“I know and I didn’t expect you to.” Kyungsoo said. “All I ask is to start again. Let’s go back, Jongin.” He reaches out to grab the sleeve of the younger. “Let’s go back from the time where everything started between us.” Jongin was about to say no, not wanting to risk himself from getting hurt again. But Kyungsoo tugs his sleeve again like a child, desperate for his attention. “Jongin.”

 

“I—Hyung, I don’t know if I—“Jongin’s breathing became erratic, finding it hard to speak as he tries not to cry.

 

“Jongin, I am, and will always be, in love with you.” Kyungsoo said firmly, his gaze so intense it was enough to make Jongin melt. “Let me be the one to chase after you this time.”

 

Before he knew it, tears began to roll down his cheeks.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

“Baek, hey.”

 

“He left me.” Baekhyun sobs on the giant’s shoulder, eyes red and puffy from crying all day. “H-He said it was a mistake. Loving me was a mistake.” He clings to him, fingers curled tightly on his shirt. “It hurts, Yeol.” He presses his face on his chest and snakes his arms around his torso. “I-It fucking hurts.”

 

Chanyeol remains standing there as he watches his best friend cry on his chest sadly.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

“Wait, so you’re taking him back?” Chanyeol scowls at the younger male. “Seriously?! After everything he did?”

 

Jongin stops cleaning his desk and stares at the elder.

 

“He cheated on you, Jongin.” Chanyeol slams his hand on his desk before approaching the younger male with raging eyes. “He fucked someone—he fucked _my_ best friend behind your back and you’re just gonna go and take him back?”

 

Remembering Jongdae’s words, Jongin smiles, which startles Chanyeol. It wasn’t broken like the one he used to do during the past 2 months. It was refreshing and warm.

 

“I don’t know. He’s just—“ Jongin shrugs. “He’s worth the risk.”

 

 

**\-----**

 

 

“Hmm? Jongin?” Minseok pauses mid-chew on his sandwich as he stares at the younger male struggle in putting his sock on hurriedly. “Where you going?”

 

Jongin makes a noise of triumph after putting his socks on only to mumble a curse when he slips a bit. “Going out…” He said, hurriedly making his way towards the shoe rack. “Gonna eat dinner somewhere so I think I’m gonna come home late.” He pauses for a minute to look up at the elder. “You don’t mind, do you?”

 

Minseok grins. “Date with Kyungsoo?” Upon hearing that, Jongin blushes. “Go ahead. I’ll tell Jongdae later when he wakes up.” Jongin smiles happily at his hyung before making a move towards the door after successfully putting his shoes on, only to stop midway. “Oh yeah, hyung?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Congrats on your engagement with Jongdae-hyung.” He winks and runs off, leaving Minseok standing there with ears tinge pink and a big smile on his face.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

Baekhyun wakes up with eyes wide snapping open, hands crossing over his bare chest. He looks around the room and stares at the scattered clothes in horror, trying not to remember what happened last night. Unfortunately, he remembers anyway.

 

He remembers lunging forward to kiss Chanyeol, arms wrapped around the giant’s neck to lock him there as he kisses him desperately, urgently with a hint of need and want. Chanyeol resisted at first but gives in a few kisses later, eventually taking control. He remembers lying on the bed in all fours as Chanyeol fucks him from behind. He remembers the feeling of his best friend’s cock inside him—so thick and hot and so, so, so well. But he feels guilty.

 

Because as Chanyeol fucks him, all he thought at that moment is Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo and his welcoming arms. Kyungsoo and his strong scent. Kyungsoo and his soft lips peppering his neck up to his face. Kyungsoo and those wide eyes that never fails to make you feel small and safe. Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo. _Kyungsoo._

 

Baekhyun brings his knees up and presses it close against his chest as broken sobs escape his lips, shifting his gaze on the sleeping giant next to him.

 

 

**\----**

 

“You’re crazy.”

 

“Crazy for you.”

 

“And cheesy.”

 

“Only when I’m with you.”

 

Jongin scrunches his nose in disgust, but he’s blushing. “What are you trying to do, Do Kyungsoo?”

 

The elder shrugs, smiling. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe…” He pauses to look across the door on Minseok and Jongdae’s flat before going back on the younger’s. “Scoring a kiss?”

 

Jongin laughs. “I don’t kiss on the first date, hyung. You told me that you don’t either, right?”

 

Kyungsoo sighs upon hearing that, recalling the time when he flatly refused to kiss Jongin after their first date. He was tempted, though. But that would make him think that he’s so easy. So yeah, he never kissed Jongin until the 4th date. Does that mean he’s never gonna get a kiss tonight, huh?

 

He narrows his eyes before chuckling. “Fine.” He playfully points at the younger’s lips. “I’m gonna taste those lips again. Just wait for it.”

 

 

**\----**

 

 

“What?”

 

Baekhyun avoids Chanyeol’s terrifying gaze. “I’m sorry, Chanyeol. But I have to.”

 

“It was just one—“

 

“I took advantage of you. I forced you to have sex with me and it’s wrong.” Chanyeol opens his mouth to speak. “It’s wrong especially if you’re in love with me.”

 

Upon hearing that, Chanyeol froze.

 

“I need time—need some time to think. I need to find myself again, Chanyeol.” The elder inhales deeply and looks at the younger, eyes widening when he saw him crying. He hesitated for a moment, but settles down with his original plan in the end. “I’m sorry, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun reaches out to grab Chanyeol’s hand but pulls it back before he could even touch it. “Please don’t come and see me again after this.”

 

 

**\----**

 

 

Kyungsoo smiles down at the red roses in hand, stopping when he saw Baekhyun. He furrows his brows at the sight, the smile on his face slowly melting into a firm one. “Baekhyun.” He said once the elder was in front of him. Said guy just smiles bitterly.

 

And before he could process what’s gonna happen, he felt a sharp stinging feeling on his cheek; the impact so hard, it made him drop the roses. But instead of worrying about the fallen flowers, his eyes stayed on his ex-lover.

 

“That’s for breaking up with me through text, you bastard.”

 

“If I see you, I might change my mind.” Kyungsoo said as he nurses his cheek with his hand. Baekhyun scoffs a laugh upon hearing that. “If you think it’s not enough, then please feel free to—“

 

Another slap.

 

“It’s never gonna be enough, you dipshit. You played with my fucking heart. You made me fall in love with you even though you’re already in love with someone else. Now, you’re all lovey dovey with your husband and what about me? Don’t you think it’s unfair?” The elder said through gritted teeth, fists balled into his sides.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“I hate you.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Good.” He sighs, frowning when it comes out shaky. “Keep that in mind. Because I just realized that you’re right. Our love—no— _my_ love for you is a big mistake and there is no way in hell am I gonna forgive you so just…” He pauses for bit. “Just be happy with Jongin.”

 

Kyungsoo sighs. “Baekhyun.”

 

“It’s the only thing you could do right for me, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun weakly smiles at him, eyes glassy and red. “Be happy with Jongin. Because if you’re happy,” He pauses. “Then I’m happy.” When Kyungsoo didn’t say anything, he took that cue to leave.

 

“Baekhyun, I love you!” He hears Kyungsoo say just when he was about to make a turn. That made him pause momentarily on his way. “If there’s one thing I don’t regret, then that’s meeting you!”

 

“Pabo.” Baekhyun sniffles, wiping a tear. “I love you, too, you fucker.”

 

 

**\----**

 

 

“Hey.”

 

Kyungsoo turns his head to the side and lazily smiles. “Hmm?”

 

“Do you think the newly-weds are happy? Minseok and Jongdae-hyung, I mean.” The elder shifts his body and pats the younger’s chest twice before closing his eyes once again, feeling tired and sated, body slightly sore from earlier intercourse. “I mean, are they fighting or not? Do you think that—“

 

“Of course, they are. What about you?” Kyungsoo opens one eye to look at him. “Are you happy?”

 

Jongin stops and thinks, recalling the painful memories that Kyungsoo gave him. It still hurts thinking about it even until now. But due to the new beautiful memories, it doesn’t hurt that much anymore unlike before. In fact, overcoming Kyungsoo’s infidelity serves as the reason why their love for each other is now stronger than before. It took a while, but it’s safe to say that the elder has his 100% trust, yet again. Hopefully this time, he’s not gonna break it.

 

“Yeah, I am.” He scoots closer to let their foreheads touch. “So happy to be with you, Soo.”

 

And Kyungsoo grins at that, leaning over to kiss Jongin before turning his body to the side, groaning. “God, I am so exhausted. My butt hurts a lot. Why do you have to be so rough?”

 

Jongin laughs as he wraps his arms around his husband’s waist and pulls him close against his chest.

 

 

**\----**

 

 

_Dear Kyungsoo,_

 

_How are you? I’m fine here. The weather’s nice—a bit chilly because winter’s coming. The place where I’m living is amazing. Not to brag or anything, but I think I’m moving to the top. A music company just hired me as their composer, see? And man, the pay is fucking great._

 

“Babe, food’s ready!”

 

“Just a sec!”

 

                _I dyed my hair red, by the way. I attached a photo just in case you want to see. Don’t I look gorgeous? Hahaha! You should dye your hair red, too. But you’re not the type of guy who wants attention so I think you should just keep your hair like that. You’d still look good, anyway._

 

“Baekhyun, what’s taking you so long?”

 

He sighs and waves his hand, craning his head to look at direction where the voice came from. “Just wait a bit, geez. I’m busy here.” He then continues to type but stops midway when he felt big arms wrap around his body, cheek pressed against cheek. “Park Chanyeol!”

 

“Can’t believe you’re still keeping in touch with him.”

 

“Why? Are you jealous?” Chanyeol flicks his boyfriend’s forehead in response making said guy laugh. “Other than he’s my ex, he’s a good friend.” Baekhyun winks, tilting his head to capture the giant’s lips for a long kiss before pushing him away. “Now shoo. Let me finish this. I’ll be there in 5.”

 

“Fine.” He pulls away and narrows his eyes. “I’m not jealous, by the way.”

 

“Right.”

 

                _Going back to the point of this whole message, I just wanted to say that I’m dating someone now. He’s someone you know, of course, but I’m not gonna tell you who. We’re already in our 9 months being together (yay!) I don’t want to at first, but he keeps on pestering me. Even following me wherever I go even if I told him not to see me anymore. Are you happy for me, Kyungie? Because I am. I still feel sad because of what happened to us, but it doesn’t hurt anymore. It’s good progress, right?_

 

_I heard you and Jongin are planning on adopting a baby. My god, I am so happy for the two of you. Send me a picture of the child, will you? Or better yet, you can go and visit here in Japan if you have the time. But I don’t think that would be a good idea considering Jongin still wants to cut my balls so yeah, just send me a picture._

 

_I hate to cut this short, but sadly, I have no idea what to put in this anymore soooo…yeah, be happy there, Kyungsoo-yah. Don’t be a stranger, okay?_

 

_From your super sexy and gorgeous friend,_

_Baekhyun_

 

 

**END**


End file.
